Unfortunately the comments to this interesting question seem to follow the unfortunate, but typical path from online discussions of stating the opponent as more or less stupid and cause of all problems. The question and the challenges deserve better.
No doubt, we're facing challenges with the implementing of non-controlable DER's and EV charging stations. But for a nation that is able to reach Mars one would think US should be able to solve these problems.
Looking to Europe - e.g., Denmark where I am from - anyone will find that it IS possible to manage. Wind power alone produced 47% of Denmark's electricity consumption in 2017, and is expected to increase its production by nearly 80% in the years to 2024. And I for my part have not experienced an outage for years. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Renewable_energy_in_Denmark
I have no doubt we will succeed.
But to succeed we need to work together. Energy producers (small and large), DSO's, TSO's, consumers, and regulators. And software vendors. Today, grid control is too passive. We need to aim for predictive and proactive grid control.
Only with complete 24/7/365 analysis of the grid will we be able to optimize.